Dainbramage

Traveling Orange Prayer

Hi everyone.

We leave for MD Anderson this weekend so that I can meet with my oncologist on Monday.  I will write a 'Neurons' post upon my return with the details of that meeting.  One piece of great news: my taste seems to be recovering.  I would estimate that I am enjoying about 50% of the taste I used to have but I no longer have the TAB aftertaste.  This is excellent news. 

I will be sporting a new dew on my drive.  I wanted to dye the remaining hair on my head a platinum blonde color.  I thought that if I was going to look a little odd it might as well be an odd of my own selection.  Amy applied the color and I left it in for 90 minutes before rinsing it off.  Upon emerging from the shower, I noticed that my hair never made it to blonde.  Somewhere along the journey it must have experience a blowout in a little town I like to call Orange.

I am going to take a few days and see how I like it.  I will be wearing a hat during the hours spent driving through Oklahoma.  This is my prediction of conversations at most gas stations in the red-dirt state.

"What the hell is that Melvin"

"I dunno Artie but I say we shoot it."

"He-he-he-he.  Dang good ideer Melvin.  Gimme my deer gun."

I would also like to mention to the individual who stapled the prayer to my tree, if you happen to be reading, no need for a repeat on that one.  For those of you that have not herd this story.......I noticed something white on the tree in the front yard.  Closer inspection revealed a folded note card stapled to the trunk.  Yes stapled.

Unfolding the card revealed something called  YOUR Prayer OF FAITH.  The prayer was probably written by Hermine Melville.  I offer several excerpts from its text:

Wash all of my filthy sins away in the precious blood that you shed......

My Lord and my God, have mercy upon my soul, a sinner....

Dang!  That sure makes me want to join up, how about you?  I thought I had been singled out but then I saw another down the street and realized I was just a random casualty in a Puritanical Staple By.  My only comment to the perpetrator of this crime would be to consider how God might feel about you ramming staples into trees, a creation that I am sure is quite beautiful as it is.  (How would you like it if I wrote down my beliefs and stapled them to your forehead?)  Unfortunately I will never know.  The prayer contained no references to a church or organization.

On one last health related note, I am feeling great.  I have only had one seizure in the last three days and it was very minor.  Thank you to everyone who has helped heal me.

joe

Butt Face and the Trampoline

I now have a new ass and it is on the side of my face.  This is great.  I am really thrilled.

The muscles on the right side of my face are healing from the mother of all charlie horses that the surgery left them with.  There is no pain but my temple is swollen.  The challenge is that the arm of my glasses runs right down the middle of the puffy area and forms a crease as the skin swells around it.  The next thing you know I have a sideways butt crack on my head.  I am sure that it would get me beat up  pretty bad on any playground in America.

Which brings to mind a new sport that I discovered by watching the kids next door playing on their trampoline.  Four kids between 10 and 15 divide into two teams and mount the tramp with a water balloon that is about the size of a softball.  A point is scored when the balloon leaves the trampoline and hits the ground on either side of an imaginary line on the ground.  The only acceptable way to cause the balloon to leave the trampoline is by jumping.  Touching the balloon while it is in the air with any part of your body is forbidden.  I hope that you see the raw potential for melee.  Breaking the balloon on the surface of the trampoline with a poorly aimed jump is the greatest taboo and results in the ire of all participants and a forlorn journey into the house to fill another balloon while being shelled with brutal barbs and insults.   'Way to go bigfoot', was my personal favorite.

In practice, the game is played primarily defensively.  Although you cannot touch the 'ball' during play, it is perfectly legal to touch your opponent.  So most of the energy is dedicated to making sure that the opposing team is arcing to a destination off of the playing field or involuntarily twitching on the ground at the conclusion of the flight.  Play does not stop at any time unless a parent screams from the kitchen door so almost all points were scored when both members of  one team were crumpled and moaning on the ground allowing the other team to leisurely roll the balloon off the playing surface.

My advice to all of you is to play this game.  I had so much fun watching that I started cheering.