Dainbramage

Boke a Rule

I broke one of my own rules this morning and paid the price.  I avoid the local morning television news for two reasons - local dip shits and dumbass on a global scale.  The weather had me a little curious this morning so I turned it on even though I know better.  Local news was no surprise.  The camera came up on the station intern wearing a raincoat and standing in front of a gas station or apartment complex.  Behind her is some yellow police tape.  Nothing is happening.  She offers this type of story intro.  "Well everything is quiet now Bob but at 3AM an unidentified man in a blue cap was standing here spraying bullets and this has local residents a little upset".

alright...standard stuff...brain is turning to oatmeal....time to add the raisins

Pat Robertson called for the assassination of the President of Venezuela.  He did this on the 700Club. 

Now I have to go get the paper.  Need more information...must sort out truth.   Not only does the Star confirm it but it is loaded with quotes.  Second seizure in five days rocks my world.  Please let me share with you a few of the quotes that sent me over the top.

Pat Robertson - Man of God (MOG)

" I really think we ought to go ahead and do it.  Its a whole lot cheaper than starting a war."

"We have the ability to take him out and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability."

Donald Rumsfeld Secretary of Defense (SOD)

"Our department doesn't do that kind of thing. Its against the law."

"Dammit Pat, that  is not the way we do things around here.  We do it and then lie about it.  Way to go!  GW is going to be righteously pissed at you now."

So I am starting my own call.  I am asking all of you that read this to do the following.  When you meet someone who watches the 700Club or worships with MOG, point at them and laugh and make duh duh derh noises.  I would also suggest asking them about the sixth commandment and how that fits into MOG's views.

On a different note.  The chemo drugs have arrived.  I should start the treatment on Friday.

Love to everyone.

jobey

Kansas is Sad

Hi folks.

I was fresh out of ideas and was going to skip posting today but then the freakishness of the day unfolded just like a Georgia O'Keeffe and voila, two tidbits to share.

The phone number that we were given when we moved across the state line used to belong to a Cigarettes Are Us.  We know this because people occasionally call and are dreadfully disappointed.  I like to imagine that they were calling to confirm that there were 27 cartons of Pall Mall on hand before going to all of the effort of jump starting the car and heading over.

Today brought a new twist.  The phone rang but I avoided it because call waiting had no information and the number started with 888.  (No I am not interested in your glorious timeshare opportunity.)  The same number called back about five times over the next hour and never left a message.  I finally picked up out of boredom.

"Is Steve there?"

I explained that no Steve was here.  She indicated that she was actually calling Cigs-fo-less and we did the dance about we have their number.  At this point, she asked, "What time will Steve be back?"

"No Steve now.  No Steve ever.  This is not Cigarettes for Less.  It is a home that happens to have the number that used to belong to them."

"Did he leave a number that he could be reached at?"

I had a seizure.  Now I know that one of the triggers is exposure to abject stupidity.  "I didn't move into the store!  There is no mattress behind the glass cases.  I moved into a house and the phone company gave me the number that the shop used to have.  They can do that you know, move phone numbers from one physical location to another.  Technology is just crazy these days."

"Oh....ok.........thanks anyway."

"No problem.  Good luck with the breathing and whole autonomic nervous system thing."

Believing I have had my daily stupid I open the paper.  I am dreadfully wrong.  Thursday evening the three member Kansas State Board of Education formally recommended that teaching standards should include strong criticism of evolution.  Thus was played the opening move in allowing the inclusion of  intelligent design in the curriculum.

One of the stated flaws that evolution does not adequately explain is the existence of DNA.  I am having another seizure......  Connie Morris, one of the board members who made the decision, apparently feels that more needs to be done and would like to see more criticisms included.

"There needs to be more getting the criticism of Darwinian evolution in the standards and in the classroom."

I know.  I typed it verbatim.  I read the damn thing three times.  Apparently the intelligent design applied to Connie's sentence structure was done late on the sixth day when God was really tired.   Maybe Connie called me today looking for Steve.

I was not intelligently designed.  I grew a brain tumor.  I truly hope that this genetic shit-storm was spun out randomly and that it wasn't planned.   After a few seconds of consideration, none of you were intelligently designed.  Some of you were drawn up by the intern. 

Well that turned into a bit of rant.  I just thank God I live in Missouri. 

Love to everyone reading. 

Something to Look Forward To

I had been feeling strong and positive over the last weeks.  Successful surgery and tons of support from family and friends had me on top of the world.  That all changed this morning.  I read a story about the senior Bush indicating that he hoped that 'Florida Jeb' would run for president one day.  Holy Shit!  Now that is something to look forward to after I am all healed.  Great news Joe, there is no sign of the tumor, but another Bush just got elected.

Here is a great quote.   "He'd be awfully good," the elder Bush said. "This guy's smart, big and strong. Makes the decisions. And you know, not without controversy, but he's led that state."

Big and strong!  Whew!  That was Carter's problem.  He was just too scrawny to get anything worthwhile done when he was in that heavy-lifting oval office.   Finally a burly president with nice hair.  Salvation!

Love to everyone reading.   

joe

If you would like to read the full story and feel you can without nausia.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/05/31/bush.plug/index.html