Waiting for a Ride

Hi everyone.

I suppose you could say the seizures are down overall.  But just as I think I am 'free', one comes along and reminds me that my chances of driving again are about the same as the survival stats of blue eyeshadow at an Osco near Tammy Faye.  So I spend a lot of time waiting for rides.   This typically is not that fun, but then I started waiting for rides outside the studio.  For anyone in KC, the station is on The corner of Westport and SW TRFW, upstairs from the Bluestem.  So I wait on the corner opposite where Spiveys used to be. 

Before I go on, I need to caution younger readers or older people that offend easily.  Unless you have an understanding of the following topics and how, when woven together, can be funny:  Graphic sexuality, Alcoholism and Mental illness.  If you feel ready....

I was waiting for Amy to pick me up after she had gotten off work.   I was watching for her car when I noticed a woman walking towards me on Westport.  The instant I saw her the 'nutjob approaching' circuit tripped and I started looking for escape routes- those basic survival tactics that kept some ancient joe from being eaten by a cave bear.   So I was minimally prepared when she stopped and spoke to me.

The initial communication with a crazy person is very important.  The best you can hope for is a mutual, 'hey'.   One of the worst beginnings is a request for the time.  This is a bad omen because by providing a response you are now communicating and that common social wall is broken opening the door for additional give and terrify.  It also indicates the lack of a capacity to comprehend time(not good) or a large period of missing time(aliens are the best case scenario here).

You can guess the question I get.  She did not wait a moment after my response before leaping into the crazy aether.  Did she soften me up with any other small talk?  No.  This is the next thing she says.

'I met a hot guy today named Wade.  He couldn't make me cum for two hours.  Has that ever happened to you?'

I told her no although I really don't know what question I was answering.  Given unlimited time and a strong desire to avoid my wife and son pull up and see me in a conversation with this unsatisfied little jewel, there are several responses that could have taken us to even higher levels of weird. 'I have never met a hot guy named Wade.  When Wade fucks me I usually ring like a church bell.  Most women I am with orgasm without break for three hours or more.'  Ah well.  Hind site is funnier.

Not to disappoint, she keeps things lively.  'Maybe it was because my ex-husband was banging on the door.' 

I agree that this could be problematic for both she and Wade.

'Maybe I should go to AA'

'Are you doing that today?'

She nodded yes and then indicated she had been told it was at a place called the Plaza.  Is there a church at 47th and Jefferson?   Without fail, my trusty wife pulls up in her shining silver steed.  I indicated it was time for me to go and pointed in the general direction of where she was going.  Stepping into the warm car Amy asked me, 'Who was that crazy person you were talking to?'

Should I have given her a ride?  Maybe, but I am glad that I didn't hear her ask my son from the back seat, 'Is your name Wade?'

I feel great and the last round of chemo was breeze.  I am the luckiest guy in the world.  Thanks for reading and sending your good thoughts and prayers.

jobey

Comments

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[Dana]

I, too, keep checking in for an update! Let us know how you're doing out there whenever you happen to have a spare moment! :)

[Savesanimals]

Hello...miss you. Check back often hoping to see a post. Am disappointed and worry each time. Hope all is well and you are just healthy and happy and involved with much more important parts of your life! Take care...

[Nubchai]

I keep checking in too. Please give us a brief update. I miss your writing.

[Lola]

Hope all is well! It's been a while, and I keep checking in on you. You must be out having fun. Keep living the life man. You deserve it!