da tube...da tube

Hey everyone.

My siezures are still down.  I have had two since I last posted but they both came while I was asleep.   I don't mind them when I am out.  They do wake me up but I can always get back to crash land really easily.

I have an MRI this afternoon in preparation for an appt with my oncologist this Friday.  If you have never had an MRI of the brain with contrast, let me iluminate you.  Arrive and fill out paperwork designed to make absolutely certain that you do not have any metal in your body.  I enjoy this process because I had no idea there were so many ways in which you can get metal into your body.  My two favorite questions on the sheet are:

Penile implant (males only)   and IUD (females only)   Thank the heavens for this clarification.

At the completion of the paperwork they take you back to a room with lockers where you shed any external metal like watches and change into a gown.   When your ass is suffeciently bared for everyone, you go back to the room with the tube.  The temperature in this room is perfect for inducing the most pronounced nip-out of your life.  They ask you a few last minute and redundant metal questions and put in ear plugs.  You lay on a table which will lift you up to the tube level.  This table vibrates enough to rupture organs.  A thirty million dollar piece of machinery and the table that lifts you into it was a blue-light special.

The tube you are put into is roughly the diameter of a basketball.  It is not uncommon for my nipples to get held up on the edge.  If you have any claustraphobia, you best just kiss your sanity goodbye because you are royally hosed.  When you are fully inserted they turn it on.  There is no doubt that the machine is on as it is LOUD.  It is roughly equivalent to having a jackhammer operated six inches from your face.  Twenty minutes later you are pulled out of the machine, but the adventure is not over.  They have pulled you out to shoot iodine into your veins so they can stuff your ass back into the tube for round two.   Another twenty minutes of jackhammer land and you are pulled out and the operators say nice things to you about what a good sport you were.  I think this is because 30% of people who come out beat the shit out of everyone in the room.  If you don't do this, you are a good sport.

I will let you know how my oncologist appt goes on Friday.

jobey

Comments

[Lori]

Oh my Good Lord, I am getting claustrophobic from just reading that. GAH GAH GAH!!!! Lori would NOT be a good sport unless someone gave her Really Good Drugs beforehand. Like a frillion valium and maybe some vicodin for flavoring.

Just out of curiosity, 'cause I got this plate n' screws special in my leg, what exactly happens if you've got metal in your body and you go through an MRI? Do tell.