Radiation Therapy has officially begun. I handled being bolted to the table only marginally better than I did during simulation. (Anyone interested in a fuller description of this can read the post titled Simulation a few weeks ago.) The nurses decided that I was too much a pain in the ass and opted for a new tactic. The decision was probably reached after I screamed, "Get me out of this fucking thing now because I am about to have a panic attack." I was not bullshitting them.
So they put me in a room with my mask to practice. The logic being that if I wore it in a room for a while it would make it easier to wear again in another room. Imagine practicing breaking your own leg and you might begin to appreciate the stupidity of the idea. When they realized that I had actually chosen to read outdated People magazines instead of putting the mask on my face, they chose a new and much more successful tactic; they medicated me. Everyone should take Valium. Ahhhhhh. Mask? No problem. Give me a Prince Albert. I really don't care.
The treatment went well and only lasted about ten minutes. The table you are on spins and the big arm coming out of the wall twists and turns so that you get a dose from the right and left at multiple angles and then finishes with a shot right on the top of the head. What was a little freaky was the music that someone selected. I was not aware that I could bring a disc to listen to during the baking so they selected Neil Diamond. Now I like the way Neil croons about prostitutes and narcotic bouts of depression but there is something distinctly surreal having radiation pumped into your noggin while Neil whines out the lyrics, " I am I cried..I am I said..... to no one there- not even the chair."
So begins the first of 30 treatments. I am now armed with a prescription of chill pills that I will take prior to every treatment. Groovy. My apt is at 8:30 every morning so it will be nice to get these out of the way and then get on with the day.
On a fun personal note, my dad took me to a TBones ball game tonight and we had a great time. They lost to the Joliett Jackhammers 6 to 5 but I doubt anyone cared. It was nice just to sit under the lights and hope for a foul ball. Thanks Dad.
Thanks to everyone who is still reading and leaving comments.
joe
Joe,
I just read your update regarding "rads". The tears started flowing. I am so pissed off as I should be enduring this pain not you. I would like to bitch slap the nurses and stick a cattle prod up their asses to see how they like it. I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself. Someone needs to bitch slap your mom. You need my support now, not this crazy acting person. I just want to stand on top of my desk and scream "fuck you cancer, leave my son alone". It would feel so great to do that, but I'm sure the people around me would think I finally have gone off the deep end.
Now I feel much better. Remember your family and friends are here for you, and love you so much.
Thank you Big Joe for taking our son to the TBones game, and showing him such a good time.
Love,
SueBee-Mom
Posted by: suebee | June 15, 2005 at 10:25 AM