Nothing like the smell of Napalm in the morning

Third day of treatment went great aaannnnnnnnddd i aaaammmmmm not espeeereeerinsinnnng aaaaany cite affecttss.  ( Pleasse scuse meee...I coughed and I think i betttter put the pink thingy on my monitor ina ziploccc....i am guussssing it goes back in.)

Back- The combination of the sedative and my continuing ability to relax under the mask are resulting in treatment times under ten minutes.  I am taking my own tunes now and that assists in making the experience more palatable.  For those of you who have never noticed, I can ask a lot of questions.  This is particularly true when 2 RADS of energy are baking the old naked grey.  I know these questions are annoying but they are very necessary.  When you have a tumah and you see and hear things that do not quite fit into the preconceived perception boxes you have spent a life creating, it becomes important to have your senses verified by someone you love who is relatively stable.  Let me give you an example.   You are enjoying a beer on your front porch when a small boy walks down the sidewalk holding a leash.  At the other end of the lease is a goat. 

You turn quickly to anyone on the porch with you and ask," Was that kid walking a goat?"  Answers in the affirmative are great- I am not ready for the boobyhatch.  I mean the world is pretty weird and a bubbles de strange drift by all the time.  Answers like, "What the hell are you talking about?" tend to be less fun.  This means one of two things.  The person I love and trust is fucking with me or, wait for it, all connection with reality may be gone.  Put on the red crash helmet and draw straws for who bathes him this week.

When they turn the radiation on, a bright light on the emitter flashes and I can smell something burning.  The emitter is pretty close to my face and I decide to mention it to the nurses. 

"Oh it is not burning, that is just your nose.  When the energy passes through your nasal passage, it stimulates the nerves and you have the sensation of smelling burning ozone.   Oh, and a lot of people report the sensation of seeing a brilliant blue light."

"A different light than the one that comes on from the emitter?"

"There is no light in there.  That is your optic nerve reacting to the energy passing through your head."

"Huh"

"OH it is very common.  Most people see the light and a fair number get the smell!"

"Well lets get me out of the most people column as quickly as possible."

One lady in blue smiled and the other just shook her head, " You only have 28 sessions left.  Now that is something to think about."

True enough.   

Thanks for reading and love to everyone out there who continues to send kind notes and words.

Comments

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[christian louboutin]

I learn a lot from you blog that how the single article can change the value of somebody. Your perspectives are so awe-inspiring

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[Kathy]

Hey Joe...good thing the burning smell was only ("only") your imagination. I hope the next few weeks go well for you, and beyond, of course.
Onward you Christian Soldier, you,
K.

[Sue Gamble]

That URL thing goes beyond my tech intelligence so I am leaving it blank. I know about the blog because I heard from Kevin Delgado complimenting me on an exchange I had with Connie Morris at the board meeting this week; when I asked how everyone was, one of the pieces of info he provided was your current challenges. To say I was floored to a way understatment. I have kind of scanned thru some of your postings and of course you are brilliant. I am in awe of your courage. Besides this is there another way of contacting you? All my best, Sue