I am afraid

Hey everyone.

I have no Tee Ball yarn to spin.   The practice was canceled due to the rain we had today.  I am really disappointed.  I got to hang with Aiden anyway.  We went to Loose park and watched the ducks and turtles.  Anyone who has ever spent time with a four year old knows that they can pose a lot of questions.  When it comes to questions, Aiden is to other kids as an AK47 is to a muzzle loader. 

We learned how webbing helps ducks swim.  Why they leave wakes when they swim.   That algae is the nasty stuff that grows when the pond's chemistry is all messed up.  We also estimated the depth of the water every 15 feet along the bank.  It was a very calming stroll around the park.

I needed this as my life was placed in mortal jeopardy three times today and it had nothing to do with seizures, radiation or medication; it was while sitting in the front seats of cars.   My current seizure frequency prohibits me from driving.  If I were to have one behind the wheel I could hurt people.  Thankfully, I am surrounded by folks who offer to drive me places that I need to go; some of whom actually know how. 

I have come to think of the passenger seat as the 'Pucker Seat'.   At one point today, my chauffeur determined that eight feet was an acceptable distance to begin the process of slowing from 35mph to a full stop.   When I next tried to get out of the car I could only do so by taking the entire passenger seat with me.    Apparently, the combination of my already turgid buttocks and enough fear-induced adrenalin to fuel Attila for several days has the ability to create a complete vacuum.   When we finally broke the seal and dislodged the seat, we determined that we really weren't so keen on putting in back in.

So I live in fear.   Yet my fear stems not from the knife, the radiation or medication; my fear is that I will end up reflected in the eyes of a bored high school student in the next version of Red Asphalt.

Love to everyone reading.  Remember that laughing and loving are the greatest gifts in the world.

Comments

[Kev]

I helped Joe build sets in Topeka in 1992. Doing anything in Topeka, except getting the hell out, is stupid. Even more stupid is riding with Joe - his glasses got stomped to death the previous New Year's Eve while trying to convince a future ex-girlfriend that he really was dancing. Add to vision problem the fact that he was concentrating more on singing dirty lyrics to oldies tunes than to driving and you'll understand that Joe's not a victim of Pucker seat, he's a perpetrator!

I really do hope you get the OK to drive again soon. I'll follow you (in my car) anywhere.

[suebee]

Joe,

It's mom again. I would be glad to escort you any place you need to go, but I guess my reputation as a driver has gotten out and you have come to the conclusion a lady my age, that can't ever find her glasses to wear when she drives, it's best staying out of a car with her. You should ask Lisa about the time I test drove a car with her on I-35. The Salesman with us needed a shot after climbing out of the backseat of this little car. I wasn't use to the brakes, and we were doing 55-60 mph off the exit ramp, and had to come to a complete stop. I'm sure the seats in the car were never the same. Or the time I was trying to shift into 4th gear in my little Vega, and I shifted into 2nd going around 40+ mph- Instant Whiplash. Lisa had the pleasure of being with me that time too. I think that was back in the 80's when she and I had a couple of brewsky's and shot pool. Miss those good ole days. You should have been with us,(did we leave you somewhere?) I am laughing about all the crazy/funny things we did. I went from being 40+ teenager to a 59 yr old lady. What happen in between? :)

I promise if I am the driver, I will wear my reading glasses, although I am overdue for an eye exam.

Love Ya,
SueBee-Mom

[Melissa]

Hey, that same "driver" ran over my ancle when I was about two. Trust me, it could have been a whole lot worse.